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Hey, how are you guys doing?

Since last month, I started to do yoga every monday. I suck, duh. But still, I enjoy it. And the thing about taking it on monday is that the themes of that yoga practices become the theme of the rest of the week. This monday was about accepting changes.

Things happen in this life that is not according to our plans, things that we avoid. Well, things change and sometimes there is nothing that we can do about it. And when everything around us change, sometimes we would feel left out. Like we're not included. And when all feel strange, there are some things that make us feel at "home".

For me, home is to read, to sink myself in books and piles of magazine. To stay in my room for hours, devoting my time to digest the words and ideas. Involved in the whole new world of adventure. When I read books, I feel like i'm included in something. I feel like no one could despise me. I feel at home.

And it could be anything. It could be your yoga mat, it could be your baby blanket, or maybe the scent of your favorite flower. Whatever it is, it comforts you in the most difficult times. It makes you ready to accept the changes that are happening around you.

So what's home for you?

*eh, reading this makes me look like a geek*

what do you think friends are for?

i consider myself the luckiest person in the whole wide world because my parents, my family, they love me for who i am and who i want to be. they never really told me what to be when i grow up. and they supported me on every choice i make.

but sadly, not everybody is as lucky as i am.

i have a high school friend, lets just call him Jim. Jim always wanted to go to the military academy, and so does his girlfriend, and so does his family. however, after high school graduation, he didnt pass the selection. he was really sad. so he trained and trained for a year, and try for the selection this year. but again, he failed. so he entered to a private university. that’s as far as i knew.

this afternoon i looked at my bbm recent updates, and i saw his status was really sad. i said hi, and he said hi. i asked why was he always sad? and he said to me that he’s so glad that somebody cares. and then i asked what’s wrong, he can always talk to me about everything. and then he told me how his family burdens him of failing the academy. he was not supported on being a university student. he feels like a failure. i was confused, i didnt know what to say, as i never encountered this kind of problem. so i remembered what my uncle told me about listening, that being a good listener is actually giving a therapy. so i just supported him, cheered him up, and said that i will be there for him whenever he needs me. he felt better. i felt better.

sometimes being a friend doesnt take so much; just to care and listen. listen what they have to say, for sometimes a person just wanted to be heard

Glory Days

Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with the former president of Indonesia, Bapak B.J. Habibie. There he was telling amazing stories of his amazing life. (And I also learned that my late grandpa was his close senior at ITB and Munchen.) As he was telling his stories, I looked at Oom Ilham’s face (Mr. Habibie’s son), and I saw a very familiar expression: the expression of having heard the story over and over again. Just then I was reminded of my grandfather, a veteran who fought for our revolution, how he always tell the amazing stories of his over and over again. Stories about his glory days.

They, mister president and my grandfather, have had a long and glorious lives. They achieved appreciation and recognition throughout their own fields. Thus now, when they look back, they will see their glory days, the days when they contribute to the nation, the days when they found true love, the proudest days of their lives.

Now looking back to myself, will I have my glory days, the days that I will recount to my grandchildren over and over again? Or did I have it already? Or did I neglected the chance to? I realize that I always tell people how I had been skinny and I had awesome abs, now that I’m fat. Was that my glory days? I mean, will I ever be thin again?

Thinking of that somehow frustates me, making me feel like a failure. And then I come and realize I’m still fricking young and I have all the time in the world on the palm of my hands. I control who am I going to be. If I want to have worked abs, I will. If I want to be a successful diplomat, I will. If I want to be an awesome CNN anchor, I will. If I want to be a happy and loving housewife, I will. Thus my glory days will come by itself, as long as I don’t stop believing and fighting for my dreams.

Long Distance Relationship

I’ve only been in a long distance relationship for a year now, so I might not be the most legit person to tell you how it feels, but I do want to share because it comforts me to know that my feelings are sane enough to be read by other people.

I’ve known that LDR could work out because my parents were in one for four years. But what I didn’t know was that it hurts.

It hurts not to be able to be there when he needs me. It hurts to know secondhand if something is bothering him. It hurts to cry alone with your blackberry on your hand. It hurts to know that there are other girls around him making him feel comfortable. It fricking hurts.

It hurts so bad that at one point we got tired of being hurt and breraking up seemed like the most rational thing to do. So we did. But then we ended up hurting ourselves even more.

That made me think, is it worth it? Is he worth all the tears and the heartache? Is it him that you want so badly that you risk your heart being broken? Is it him that you need to be with so badly that you trust him with all your gut, knowing that once it’s broken nothing will ever mend it? Does he worth the waiting? Does love worth the hurting?

Well guess what, it does.

My Thing

I just watched an episode of Oprah from her last season. It’s called the greatest lessons. So from 25 years hosting, Oprah reviewed the greatest lessons that audiences, guests and Oprah herself have learned. One of the lessons is the words of Toni Morrison, an 80 year-old Nobel Prize winning American novelist. Years ago she taught Oprah and a lot of audiences how our facial expression towards another is very important to their perception of what they’re thinking of what we are thinking of them. But the one thing she said that made me thinking was when Oprah asked what has she learned during 80 years of her life, she answered that writing is her “thing”. In her writings, she write whatever the heck she wants, regardless of whatever people say. And it could be in the form of anything, gardening, computer, etc. It got me thinking, what is my thing?

It certainly ain’t got anything to do with numbers, nor with music (though I can’t live without it, I have zero talent at all). Is it writing? Well, I do love writing, but more like blogging, not like writing “real” stuff. Could it be photography? Well maybe, but it’s not like it’s good or even worth seeing at all. Analythical and strategic thinking? Well it’s more like what I’m trying to learn in school. Hmmm…

So now I guess what I gotta do is to figure out my “thing” is. Figure out my passion. Because (quoting from Harry’s bbm status) “what’s life without passion?"

cheers! :)

Where's the love?

hey. this is just a humble opinion.

jadi tadi gue lagi buka video klipnya Agnes Monica yang terbaru di youtube, Paralyzed, dan itu keren lah, gue suka! okay, probably not my absolute favorite tapi teteup lah, she did a great job, especially the dance! (although gue agak ga terlalu suka pas bagian dia pake gaun batik itu asetnya agak sedikit “tumpah”, hehe peace nez). Pokoknya intinya itu bagus dan berkualitas, ga kaya video2 yang gue liat akhir2 ini (padahal nontonnya cuman video briptu norman doang). hehe. plus dia cantik cantik secantik cantiknya :D

LALU *drumroll effect* gue scroll kebawah daaaannn *jrengjrengjreeeeng* commentnya ga nahaaaan!!!! Ada lah yang ngebanding2in sama artis malaysia, dan ending2nya malah berantem indo-malay. Ada juga yang bilang dia ga mencerminkan adat indonesia. Pokoknya ga nyantai semua deh! Terus kan gue buka2 juga video2 Agnes yang pas dia jadi guest host di AMA, dan *eng ing eng* komen2nya lebih parah lagi -_- Ada lah yang ngatain dia bikin malu indonesia. Ada lah yang marah-marahin user lain gara2 grammarnya salah pas ngomenin. Ada lah yang adu bacot tentang bagusan artis indo ato mandarin. Sampe gue sendiri nge-flag satu komen yang ngebacanya aja gue mau nangis; “ng#%$^& lo nes, ^$_(*&*& bikin malu indo *&%&^$^%#” Ya ampun :( mau nangis ga sih gue.

Dan gue yakin itu bukan di video Agnes doang. pasti banyak orang-orang ga bisa jaga lidahjari untuk nulis komen yang sebenernya bikin malu nama bangsa. Eh, tapi bukan berarti semua komentar ky gitu loh, banyak juga sih yang mencoba ngebelain agnes dari para haters itu (tapi kan tetep aja keliatannya jadi ga enak, ky berantem gitu).

Gue hampir setaun (aaaa!!!) ga pulang ke indo, jadi akses gue buat semua perkembangan tanah air kan memang lewat internet. General view gue buat pengguna internet tanah air itu melebihi positif loh, apalagi via tumblr. Gue suka banget gimana beingindonesian ngepost gambar2 n artikel yang bikin gue pengen pulang, and gimana antusiasnya orang2 nge reblog apapun yang bagus2 dari indo. Terus gue jg pembaca setia blog2 temen2 gue plus orang2 terkenal ky moammar emka ato trinity ato theoresia rumthe. so inspiring!! Plus also the fact that we are the most twitter-user populated country! Dan juga (ga ketinggalan) KASKUS! (hehehe pastinyaa) nunjukin banget bahwa indo tuh melek teknologi dan pinter banget dalam menggunakan teknologi.

tapi gue sedih banget pas ngebaca tulisan2 ga terkontrol di youtube itu. bikin gue sadar kalo indo itu ga lepas dari para haters. Haters kaya gitu juga bisa gue temuin di detik.com, waktu itu gue baca bahwa rupiah lagi menguat dan kondisi ekonomi kita pokoknya mengalami kemajuan, eh kok ya komennya malah pada skeptis dan negatif gitu. bikin sedih tau ga.

sistem pendidikan di indonesia itu (or at least the system in my primary school) sebenernya bagus banget lho. negara mana lagi yang ada pelajaran ppkn nya? dan sejujurnya gue belajar banyak dari mata pelajaran ppkn pas sd. tapi kok ternyata ga semua orang merhatiin di kelas pas pelajaran ppkn, pas gurunya ngajarin tentang tenggang rasa, tanggung jawab, toleransi, kerja keras, gotong royong, dsb. kok ya ga ada yang menerapkan?

dan juga satu isu yang gue paling benci dan gue temuin di komen videonya Agnes. ada gitu yang bilang bahwa Agnes ga pantes mewakili indo karena dia seorang kristen, dan si orang ini merasa Muslim yang paling benar. ini sejujurnya isu yang paling bikin kuping gue panas. pengen rasanya gue tereak di kupingnya, “WOI BACA LAGI BUKU PPKN SD LO!” Indonesia adalah negara yang berdasarkan kepada Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa tanpa mempermasalahkan agama apa yang warganya peluk. ya memang kita negara berpopulasi Muslim paling banyak sedunia, tapi sepanjang gue inget Indonesia is not an Islamic state. If it ever will be, artinya kita menghancurkan hati para pendiri bangsa kita dong?

sooooo my fellow indonesian youngsters, marilah kita menjaga omongan kita di internet karena mulutmu jarimu harimaumu. gunakanlah harimau-harimau itu untuk tujuan yang baik dan terpuji. *krik*

cheers

The Bucket List

I just watched The Bucket List (lol telat). But whoever haven’t watched it SHOULD watch it.

Position yourself living on your old age knowing that your life will end in six months. Your biggest wish is to be a history teacher while life circumstances divert your life to be a mechanic for 45 years. In the same time you’ve been married to the same woman you fell in love when you were a teenager, raised 3 kids into successful men and woman, and still loving each other.

Now position yourself, again, living on your old age knowing that your life will end in six months. You have the fortune to spend. You’re the head of the biggest medical companies in the country. You’ve been married and divorced 3 times. You have a daughter who acts as if you’re already dead.

Imagine those two selves spending their last days in the same hospital room. What do you get? The journey of a lifetime on finding their joy of life.

imma make my own bucket list :)